one’s soul mate. your life’s love. a significant other or a partner for life. You’ve probably considered using a dating app to find the kind of relationship you want (and maybe even given it a shot). With the advent of dating apps, finding “the one” is now more about what’s available to you than what’s in your heart.
Dating apps have transformed finding love into a job application, requiring the best photo and the right words. And just like in job interviews, there is always a chance to make a mistake and lose out on a chance. The proverbial “one that got away.”
But if you stay away from these rookie errors, you can become an expert at using dating apps and raise your chances, regardless of whether you’re looking for romance, friendship, or camaraderie. Pay close attention because it might change the way the whole “swiping” works.
Lack of concentration
It helps to be clear about what you’re looking for when using a dating app: a soul mate or a casual date, a lifelong friend or a one-night stand. Make the most of your dating app experience by narrowing down your search with realistic age range, geographic restrictions, and other important to you considerations.
It makes no sense to match with an unrealistic candidate; doing so only wastes both of your and their time.
Not taking the time to really read member profiles
Important details may be missed when you scan a profile. You can determine whether you are in someone’s age or location range, whether they are a dog lover or dog disser, or whether you have anything else in common with them by actually reading and paying attention to what is written in their profile (other than being on the same app).
Kids are one of the most common sticking points in this field; if someone lists their family goals on their profile, including not wanting children, it’s important to note it right away and move on if they don’t match.
Spending too much time swiping
The typical Tinder user uses the app for nearly 90 minutes every day. That’s a lot of time that could have been spent socializing instead of staring at a screen and tapping away. Reduce your swipe sessions and invest more time in joining clubs, getting out and about, and spending time with friends doing the things you enjoy.
You never know, you might come away with a fresh outlook on what you’re looking for online. Additionally, you are more likely to meet people who share your interests if you are having fun.
Not being careful about what you say and who you say it to
Don’t portray yourself as an outgoing party animal to one person and a homebody to another on a dating website because you never know if people are talking to one another there. Let’s just say that contradictory descriptions can lead to contradictory feelings. Furthermore, why bother being dishonest from the start?
To ensure that you meet up with people who actually have potential when you go out to meet people, it is best to start out by being consistent and honest.
Having a generic profile
Everybody has seen the generic profile with a ton of words but no real, insightful information about the person. You only have so many sentences to paint a complete picture of who you are; using broad strokes makes you appear unremarkable and like just another uninteresting member of the crowd.
You should make a statement, but do it your way. Whatever suits you—write a poem, share a favorite quotation, or make a picture out of the text in your profile.
Posting your best photo
Let’s face it, most people rarely appear as they do in their best pictures. So if you post your best photo, you’re only setting yourself up for failure or, at the very least, for irrational expectations. Posting realistic, day-to-day photos of yourself demonstrates your comfort with your appearance and your sincerity.
People you meet will have more accurate expectations of who you are and how you look if you do this. The matches you do make will be of higher quality even though you might not make as many.
Writing an overly long bio
Ernest Hemingway is not you. You’re not penning a War and Peace continuation. Writing a personalized profile for someone who is busy working, exercising, or binge-watching Game of Thrones (because they can’t believe it’s really, really over) is a risky endeavor. Keep your bio brief, honest, and sincere.
When using these apps, users move quickly, just like when reading job applications. If you don’t capture their attention right away, most people will only give you a first impression before moving on.
Casting too broad a net in your search
There are a lot of singles out there; if you don’t focus your search enough, you might find yourself wasting too much time on profiles you won’t pursue. Keep an eye out for things that draw you to people. Make contact with people you think you might have things in common with. Harmony might result from compatibility.
Contrary to popular belief, this statement is only occasionally accurate and applies only in specific circumstances. Make sure you’re looking for people who share your interests rather than those who are the complete opposite of you.
Insisting on going to dinner for your first date
When you first meet someone, put any plans for a dinner date on hold. If they simply aren’t feeling it as the date progresses, they might feel under pressure because they won’t have a quick exit strategy. Consider choosing to meet up for a glass of wine in a coffee shop, bakery cafe, or a laid-back pub.
In the event that things don’t go as planned, you (and your potential date) won’t have to sit awkwardly with someone with whom you have no chemistry. Respectful behavior can be demonstrated by dipping out politely.
Posting staged photos
The photo of you strolling along a golden beach with the peach-colored setting sun skillfully highlighting your hair should be forgotten, along with the gym selfies and sports fan memorabilia. Dating app users want to meet someone who is genuine and true to themselves, not someone who has been artfully staged and artificially presented.
Additionally, they won’t get to see you like that very often in real life. Talk about lowering your standards! Being genuine will help you connect with people better.
Want to read some more fun stuff? Check out 15 things that turn women off!
Using too many free websites instead of paid memberships
In general, users of paid websites are more committed to finding love than users of free websites. Your results aren’t guaranteed whether you use a free or paid dating app, but if you’re serious about finding a partner, spending a few dollars for a limited subscription might be a smart move.
This is expected, of course; people who are just browsing or aren’t making much of an effort won’t be willing to try the paid products, so keep that in mind.
Not making clear what you want
It goes without saying that not everyone in the dating world has the same expectations. If you make it clear what you’re looking for—a casual hookup, a committed relationship, or marriage—you’ll find that you connect with people who are traveling similar paths more often.
Additionally, you’ll spend less time with people who are traveling entirely different romantic paths. If you didn’t make it clear that was not what you were looking for, you can’t be angry that someone wasted your time on a casual fling.
Excessive attention to appearance
Regardless of your perspective, being attracted to someone on a dating app is crucial, and everyone has different preferences, “types,” and qualities they find attractive. However, if you set strict criteria (such as “5’6″ and taller only”), you’ll only be able to appeal to a limited population.
Try your luck by getting in touch with people who might not exactly fit the criteria you had in mind, and you never know—you might be pleasantly surprised.
Not getting right to the point as fast as possible
There are countless emails. It takes too long to send texts. Increase the momentum by asking to speak on the phone and starting a real conversation after exchanging a few electronic messages. then ask for a time. Continue wasting time on less serious forms of communication if you want nothing to happen. Make contact.
If you prefer to move slowly while conversing with friends, that is acceptable. Just make sure that when you speak with your potential partner, you are clear on that.
Not reading the bio first
Put an end to your constant speed swiping and read the bio. You’ll be shocked by how much useful information some biographies include. You’ll also avoid going on a date with someone whose offensive jokes, dubious goals, and unsettling one-liners you would have missed if you had actually read what they had to say.
Bios are required for a reason, and everyone who completes one does so thoughtfully and sincerely. Take advantage of that now to save time later.